Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Kuala Lumpur, or KL as it is affectionately known, was next on our agenda. We stayed in Tune Hotel which is run by AirAsia- everything branded in the companies colours, very cheap compared to the rest of KL but anything extra was charged for. You had to rent towels, buy aircon & wifi vouchers and everything had advertising. We had a Pensonic hairdryer advertised on our door, and inside we had McDonalds, Maggi & some tour company pasted round the wall. Still it was nice & central-ish, fairly new & modern, & most NB, cheap!

Our bus got in 2 hours earlier than expected so we jumped on the tourist bus & did a circular of the city in rush hour traffic before jumping off in China Town to hit the main market on Petaling Street. After a brief taste of the pestering and over eager shop assistants we decided we needed some food before taking it on. Nando's looked very inviting & so we scoffed down a half chicken each (what fat pigs!) & instantly felt a lot more like shopping.

It really is difficult to describe the market, firstly it was packed, secondly there were just so many over-crowded stalls & shops, and lastly, the people at the shops are virtually pulling you in by the arm. I got tapped & grabbed a couple times which was pissing me off, luckily they weren't doing it to Jacqui but they were the normal chirps. I obviously look British as I seemed to get 'yes, mate' & 'oi mate' in there best cockney accent.

All the hassle was just about worth it as there were some bargains but bargain was what you had to do in order to get them. Generally they start at 70% over what you should pay & it took us a while to get the hang of it & actually get some deals, Jacqui got a Prada bag for £20 down from about £35 which we should have got for less! As for shoes, well with both of us being yeti’s with massive feet, only the guys shoes fitted Jacqui & nothing fitted me so they were out. Feeling battered & exhausted we managed to escape the market & make it home.

KL is really sticky & hot, & very uncomfortable when the sun is out. Luckily it was overcast a bit while we were there which made it just about bearable. It is the exact opposite to London, here you can't wait to get on the tube/monorail as it is super cold & as soon as you get off it, you are hit by the wall of heat, oh & you have to stand on the right on the escalators to let people past....more confusing than it sounds!

Christmas Eve was spent sightseeing although after waiting for our tourist bus for 30 mins, it preceded to break down in the middle of a highway 15 mins later in the middle of nowhere. So instead of waiting even longer for another one we had to walk about 3km to our destination, the Petronas Twin Towers. Sweating like....well.....sweating profusely we took cover in the shopping center at the bottom to cool off. Next was the Menara KL tower, which at 421m is one of the tallest in the world. They made us buy a stupid package ticket which included daft things we didn't want do like an animal petting zoo & a 'winter' park, I use the word winter but it was literally cotton wool with a plastic polar bear & some fans blowing vapour, & it was outside so wasn't even cold!

Had lunch at the Hard Rock (for Keith) and the food was pretty good. We then visited a few hotels trying to find a traditional roast dinner for Christmas. We settled on the Concorde Hotel that has a massive Xmas buffet.

Christmas! Merry Merry! Happy Happy! Aaaah!

We slept LATE for a change, got on our Sunday best & headed out for lunch which was 12:30 to 16:00 & we were determined to use all that time to eat. We got there at 12:30 on the dot & proceeded to eat continuously till 4, we took it slow & it was hard at times, but we pulled through in the end. Starters, 5 helpings of mains, 2 helpings of pudding....the buffet was western, chinese, thai, japanese, malay and indian so we had to try everything. They had a Santa come visit the kids & hand out presents & a band singing Christmas carols who were highly entertaining, especially the huge fat gay one who pranced round like a queen shouting ho-ho-ho in her deepest voice!

There seems to be a lot of South Africans around, we have plenty in our hotel, a family of them sat next to us at Xmas dinner, some were on our flight to Singapore & you hear them in the streets all the time, definitely the accent we have heard the most in Malaysia. It makes you think if there are any left at home!!

After dinner we rolled out to the main shopping area of Bukit Bintang which has malls and malls of shops, starting with the Louis Vittons, Prada, Bvlgari etc etc & ending with Topshop, Gap & so on. We skipped the high-end stuff & settled somewhere in between & treated ourselves to some presents for Xmas & ended off a nice day at the cinema after speaking to all the family back home. We watched ‘Yes Man’ which I had heard a lot about & it was hilarious, although the funniest was laughing at all Asians laughing at the Western jokes, they were loving it! 

Boxing Day we went to Batu Caves which is the site of a Hindu Temple where millions of Hindus go on a pilgrimage every year & stick spears through their tongues & hooks in theirs backs, wear shoes made of nails & other crazy things. All in the name of religion of course! The caves were impressive but by the time we had climbed the 272 steps we were sweating so much we just wanted to get back in the shade. We scurried back down the stairs, passing a girl throwing up halfway up the stairs & headed back to the A/C.

Next up was the KL Bird Park, with the largest walk in aviary in the world. Most of the birds were pretty much what you could find in our back garden growing up, ostriches, macaws, lories etc. The best bit was definitely the bird show which had birds riding bikes, doing math’s sums and other such things birds shouldn't!

That night we headed to the Petaling Market again, we were very prepared this time: we spent time formulating an action plan- we had a list of what we wanted & what we were willing to pay. We were prepared to bargain hard with those guys & we did! Generally you should be able to get your item for 50-70% less than the starting price, after 4 hours of wheeling & deeling as well as fighting of various salesmen, we struggled back to the hotel with all our bags & got onto the task of getting them into our bags! We don't have too much luggage, our backpacks are basically full but our hand luggages are empty so we are sorted me thinks...

Me thinks wrong! Bladdy Air Asia has a limit of 15kg per person, we knew that but were a little over last time & they didn't mind, we came in at a slightly heavy 37kg (but no hand luggage) & after being quoted an exorbitant fee we went off to the luggage shop & had to buy a small bag & repack. After which we weighed 32kg....& the cheeky so & so still moaned, we argued with him for a while & he said we need to remove another 1kg!!! So Jacqui promptly tied one of my belts and a towel around her waste, & put a pair of pants under her arm & told him to weigh it again, after which he reluctantly said we could go through...

Singapore here we come!